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10 Common Negotiating Mistakes That Can Cost You Thousands

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Success in negotiating is a lot like proficiency in martial arts. You must learn to use timing, power, and leverage to your advantage. In bargaining contests, Americans tend not to do very well when compared to people in other countries around the world. There are some real black belts out there when it comes to negotiation, and here are some common mistakes that often keep us from getting the best deals:

Mistake No. 1: Being Afraid to Bargain

Some of us are a bit timid about haggling because we're afraid to be rejected. In reality, there is no rejection in negotiating. If you ask for a discount on your laundry from a dry cleaner that you patronize on a regular basis and the owner says "no," what have you lost? Nothing! Now you have the choice of continuing to pay full price or taking your business elsewhere. It's totally within your control.



Mistake No. 2: Believing It's Not Worth Haggling over Small Items

Many Americans only think about negotiating when it comes to big-ticket purchases like cars and houses. The real savings come when you get discounts on things you buy more frequently. For example, if you and your spouse eat out at nice restaurants once a week costing $90 and you negotiate a 30% discount, that saves more than $1,500 per year.

Mistake No. 3: Forgetting That Everything Is Negotiable

Anything is negotiable under the right circumstances. You will be surprised at what others will do to earn your business as long as you keep in mind that there must be a benefit to them if they accept your offer.

Mistake No. 4: Thinking About Yourself First

Many people only consider what they'll get out of a negotiation. Black belt bargainers are always thinking about what the other person stands to gain from the deal, not what's in it for them. They know that if there isn't a clear benefit to the other party, he or she will never seriously consider the offer. Finding ways to help people solve their problems will make it easier for them to give you what you want. Most businesses make their money on repeat business because this eliminates their marketing costs. If you are a regular customer, you deserve a discount for saving them money.

Mistake No. 5: Making the First Offer

Try not to make the first offer when you bargain; it limits your options. Even if the price is clearly marked, you can always ask, "Would you take less to sell this today?" If you are a buyer and you make the first offer, it sets the lower limit because now you can only raise your price. If you are a seller and you name a price you can only go down from there.

Mistake No. 6: Being Too Nice

If you must make the first offer, make it low if you're buying or high if you're selling for the reasons stated above. It sets the lower or upper limit and reduces your options. Being aggressive with your first offer leaves room for negotiation. Don't worry about being nice, because the other party can always say "no." You never want the other party to agree to your first offer because that leads to the next mistake.

Mistake No. 7: Being Too Eager

A martial artist always starts a contest by testing his opponent. Take your time when bargaining. In America "time is money," but in other countries it is used for building relationships. There is one word that a black belt negotiator never wants to hear early in the bargaining process: "okay." This means that you offered too much or asked too low a price because you got impatient. Take your time, and don't put yourself under any undue time pressure.

Mistake No. 8: Not Doing Your Homework in Advance

Most martial arts tournaments are won or lost before they ever begin, and it's the same with negotiating. Just as a fighter would never step into the ring without having spied on his opponent, you shouldn't either. If you're buying a car, search the web to find the dealer's invoice and when the new models will be coming in and to find out whether there are any bonuses or cut-rate financing options available to you. No matter what you are buying or selling, you can find out valuable information, such as the current demand, the profit margin, and other priceless data.

Mistake No. 9: Not Playing to Win

Everyone has heard that in negotiating you want to develop "win-win" solutions, but in reality nobody believes in tying. You don't want your opponent to get the better end of the bargain, and neither does he or she. This is not to say that you should try to take advantage of the other person, but you should always try to get the best deal you can and assume that the other party will do likewise. You don't need to be concerned about fairness because if someone agrees to your offer, that person must feel it benefits him or her as well.

Mistake No. 10: Missing Opportunities to Negotiate

Every time you pull out your wallet to pay for a purchase, you should ask yourself, "Is this a chance to practice my bargaining skills?" This is not to say that you absolutely must bargain on everything, but every transaction adds up, and the more you bargain, the better you become.

By negotiating more often, you not only put more money in your pocket but also increase your negotiating skills. Black belts practice every day, and so should you.

About the Author

Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is the author of the new book Black Belt Negotiating (AMACOM Books, 2007), a world-class negotiator, and a martial artist. He has bargained on everything from major real estate purchases to discounts on gas for his car. Michael shows people how to use martial arts secrets to gain leverage in any bargaining situation. You can assess your negotiating prowess on his website at www.seminarsunlimited.com. His phone number is 800-417-7325.
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