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The Art of the Soft Sell

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When you come across the phrase ''the art of the soft sell,'' you might focus your attention on the word ''soft.'' You might not even do this consciously; many salespeople don't.

And based on this unconscious focus, you may lead yourself to believe that the difference between conventional selling and ''soft'' selling is, well, that you just do the latter ''softer.''

That is, you do what you’ve always done, but you say “please” a bit more, or you say “It’s really up to you,” “I’m not here to pressure you,” “I care more about you than the sale,” and other things that, when we write them here in black and white, reveal themselves — perhaps a bit embarrassingly — to be what they are: “injected” politeness within a conventional sales approach.



It’s similar to how aggressive, direct-speech people come across when they first try to be “more diplomatic.” Instead of telling you that you’re a total idiot, they say, “Please let me say that you’re a total idiot.”

Not very diplomatic, is it?

Nor is the above-described approach to soft-selling very soft. The reason? It’s all about that unconscious focusing. It’s on the wrong word.

The word to care about here is “art,” because soft-selling really is an art! Just as you are allowed to look at art and derive your own personal meaning — the artist empowers you to do that — true soft-selling has to follow the same path. It has to empower prospects to build their own meaning, to assess their own value, and to determine — on their own — if you’re selling the solution that they want.

Naturally, you can — and should — assist prospects on their journey of meaning-making. Just as painters don’t offer you a blank canvas and say, “Go ahead and paint whatever you want, I’m easy,” you have a variety of tools and techniques at your disposal to usher your prospect towards a favorable destination (i.e., doing business with you). These tools and techniques include:
  • Free, unbiased articles, newsletters, white papers, and other information sources that help your prospect become a better buyer (even if they don’t buy from you)

  • Providing a free assessment or evaluation that will be valuable to your prospect even if they decide to do business elsewhere (or perhaps not at all)

  • Paying careful attention to your prospect and accurately interpreting non-verbal “busy signals” so you know to back off before they ask you to give them more time

  • While promoting the benefits of your solution, honestly and openly sharing the limitations too; your prospect knows that limitations exist — fill in the blanks with reality instead of leaving it up to your prospect’s (potentially pessimistic) imagination

  • Ensuring that your prospect “saves face” — don’t position your selling effort so that your prospect feels “stupid” or “unclear” if they don’t do business with you right now
Remember, the key word in “the art of soft-selling” is the word “art,” and art is, by its very nature, empowering. As a “soft-seller,” you must truly empower your prospect. Anything less isn’t merely not soft-selling, but worse, it’s not artistic.

And crimes against art are hardly forgivable, in galleries or sales efforts alike.

About the Author

Adrian Miller is a speaker, a consultant, and president of Adrian Miller Sales Training. Her firm works nationwide, providing highly customized sales training solutions and business development consulting to companies across a wide diversity of industries. Adrian works with companies that range in size from solopreneurs to Fortune 500 firms, and her high-energy programs are well known to be practical, informative, results driven, and fun. Widely read in business publications, Adrian is also the author of The Blatant Truth: 50 Ways to Sales Success, and she is currently at work on her next book. She can be reached at 516-767-9288 or amiller@adrianmiller.com.

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Popular tags:

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